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You are cordially UNinvited to the 2020 Non-Event!

You are cordially UNinvited to the 2020 Non-Event!

It’s anti-social event of the season!

A pandemic-palooza, if you will. A socially distant soirée, you might say.

Introducing … the Mask-Erade Ball
Tuesday, Sept. 8, 2020, at 7 p.m.

Put on your finest attire and your fanciest mask and dance the night away — from a safe distance, please (i.e., your house). All the entertainment will be delivered via iPad, and the foods we’re serving are so smelly, you’ll have to stay six feet apart. Oh, and the mocktails are so strong, you can use them to sanitize your hands!

Now, to be clear: Like all non-essential events, the Mask-Erade Ball is not happening.

To keep everyone safe, all of our large-group fundraisers this year will be just like this one: nonexistent.

We need you to do your part to stop the spread of COVID-19. So please stay home and do not come to this Non-Event — but consider sending a donation instead.

For just a second, we need to be serious:

West Neighbourhood House is facing a disruption of our usual sources of income due to the pandemic, and we won’t be participating in our largest fundraiser, the Scotiabank Toronto Waterfront Marathon, this year.

Because of that, we’re using the proceeds from this year’s Non-Event — which is traditionally a fundraiser for our music school — directly for programs across the House.

We’re busier than ever during the COVID-19 pandemic. Our essential services, such as The Meeting Place drop-in for the homeless community, seniors’ care, and Meals on Wheels, continue to operate in-person. Our other programs continue to support hundreds of low-income and vulnerable people in our community virtually and by phone.

As in past years, you can still choose to direct a Non-Event donation to the Music School (just click the button and select “Non-Event – Music School” from the drop-down menu on our CanadaHelps page).

Thank you, thank you, thank you. And we mean that!

Now, back to your non-invitation …


Please DON’T come to the Mask-Erade Ball!

do not dance 6 feet apart

After paying your non-entry fee (we suggest $50), you’ll miss the decked-out Community Hall, where your first stop should be the mask station. One of our seniors would sew you a bespoke face covering, and it would be decorated on-demand by one of our preschool kids with your choice of googly eyes, feathers, beads, and finger paint.

Dress Code:

For distanced dancing, all guests must don a hoop skirt measuring six feet on each side, or

A wide-brimmed hat of the same dimensions.

Please, no athletic gear: There will be no running fundraisers this year!

Please do not follow the dress code: six-foot skirts, six-food hats, decorated masks

Cocktails & canapés

Please note: If you’re keeping a safe social distance (by staying at home), you won’t smell your fellow patrons’ breath. In light of that, please peruse our menu:

Refreshments

Garlic bread

Trout paté

A selection of the stinkiest blue cheeses

do not enjoy the ultimate in socially distant snacks: garlic brad, trout pate, stinky cheese

Signature Cocktail

The quarantini:
Two ounces of bracing 60 per cent alcohol, to be dumped directly on your hands.

Yes, is it a martini glass full of hand sanitizer. Please don’t drink it.* It’s garnished with an olive, because “olive” your social interactions should be virtual or safely distanced!

*The quarantini, like all aspects of this event, does not exist. Seriously, please don’t get any ideas about drinking hand sanitizer. 

Do not drink a quarantini! 60 per cent alcohol - it's not a drink, it's hand sanitizer!

The evening’s entertainment

An online ensemble of our Music School students will not perform a medley they’ve been diligently practicing at home since March. Technically, the performers are iPads on sticks with clothes attached. It’s almost like a real concert!*

*To be clear, neither the concert nor any part of this event is real.

Do not .. enjoy a musical marvel of modern technology

Optional after-party ($25)

For an additional $25, you may opt not to attend our late-night Slow Dancing With Strangers Seminar, which you definitely shouldn’t be doing anyway. There’s a pandemic on!

Hope not to see you there!

On another serious note: Even though we won’t be seeing you at any real fundraising events anytime soon, we appreciate our donors and supporters more than we can say. Thanks so much — for real.

To donate, visit CanadaHelps, or call Nelson at 416-532-7586 ext. 226 to give your details over the phone. Questions? Call Genna at (416) 712-7428.